Monday, January 9, 2012


All I have to do is tie my shoes.

The hardest part of running is leaving the house.  I haven't gone a run in a long time and it's a vicious cycle.  You grow tired from lack of exercise, and when you're tired, you don't want to exercise!

So yesterday I was in a huff about something or another and I was getting a little bit stir-crazy.  I was beginning to feel confined in the four walls of my room, and my church clothes were making me itch.  I threw on a pair of leggings and a tank top.  I opened my closet to dig out my sweatshirt and I saw my sneakers gleaming, too white from disuse, from a corner.

No fully formed thoughts presented themselves in that moment.  I slapped on some socks and a cozy fleece, and then I tied my shoes.

Tying your shoes seals the deal.  The moment you put on your running shoes, you've made the commitment and you just have to exercise.

All it took was that small movement of putting on my Nike's, and I was motivated.  I popped in my headphones, said "So long!" to my folks, and headed out the door.

I walked quite a few blocks, not planning on running since I know I'm out of shape. I then perceived a long stretch of sidewalk in front of me with no parked cars or people in the way, and I told myself to run all the way to a certain street lamp up ahead.  I was off like a shot, not thinking about anything but Florence and the Machine's "Kiss With a Fist" pounding in my ears.

It's so freeing.  Your mind has to work fast to dodge loose stones in the pavement and posts and curbs, and, yet, at the same time, it's almost involuntary.  You're not really in control, at first.  It's just your feet flying across the terrain of their own accord.

I finally slowed, breathing hard and ready to walk.  I felt good.  Arms swinging, I made my way up to the park where I like to run, cooling rain drops hitting my head from the gloomy sky.

I didn't know this, but the road that wraps around the park is closed on the weekends so that pedestrians can use it.  All up and down this long road were families and couples walking, running, biking, and skating.  There were soccer games being played inside the park, and boats being rowed slowly across the pond.

I felt even better looking out over this scene.  The second I got onto the street, I ran again.  The song playing in my ears, which may or may not have been by Justin Timberlake, was in perfect rhythm with my feet and I was happy.  I ran farther than I thought I could, and then I walked.  I did a combination of walking and then running for a while until I realized I'd been gone well over 30 minutes.  I turned around and did the same thing all the way home.  My final burst all the way up to my front door near about killed me, but I loved it.

Now it's Monday and my legs and sides are ablaze.  Coming downstairs this morning for breakfast was a chore, and every time I have to face them I kind of want to weep, but that's ok.  I like feeling like I did a good job yesterday.  I like how my body is practically begging me for more of whatever that was.  I think I'll just walk today, though, because I get shin splints and I don't want to overdo it.

I always say that I hate running.  But, in truth, I think it's just that I hate tying my shoes.


Monday, January 2, 2012

A little list action

Quote of the day:   “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”  -Dr. Seuss

Song of the day:  

This song really gets my groove-receptors twitching.  I can not sit still or do anything productive while this song is playing.  I'm not usually a Rihanna fan, but this is just good.

Passage of the day:  

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
(Galatians 6:9-10 ESV)

Today's going to be a normal day with lots of studying.  I've got a speech for my thesis class to work on, and I've also got scholarship essays to write.  But I'm also reading The Jungle and Moby Dick in school, and they're both really good books so far!

I might venture out to Starbucks today to sit and read.  Being cooped up in the house for days on end sort of just happens a lot because I get so caught up in the things I have to do, so it's good for me to make sure I get some time outside these walls.  And since my brother's home from college for a few more days, I'll probably drag him along with me.  He's always up for a Starbucks trip.

Have a good day, everyone!


Who are you?

I've resolved to no longer try, on any occasion, to be something I'm not.

There are a lot of things about me that I would like to change, but will never be able to.  I will always, for instance, be someone who struggles with words.  I will always have the temptation to speak before thinking.  Also, I will forever struggle with laziness.  I'd always take zoning out in front of a TV screen over studying or cleaning my bathroom.  Innate flaws in me, like these, will never just go away.  I will spend my whole life fighting against them, and that's something to which I just have to resign myself.  So in these respects, I will always try to be something I'm not, and that's what I'm called to do.  I have to constantly seek God in these areas of my life and pray for change on a daily basis.   

Instead of that, though, I've been burning my energy on trying to change things I shouldn't.  I've wanted to be something that I'm not because the things that I am aren't necessarily the most exciting things.  For instance, I often enjoy pop music more than indie music or classical music.  I know that it's too "mainstream" to enjoy a catchy pop song, but it is what it is.  When I listen to Bon Iver, I love it.  But the problem is that the melody is so mellow and soft that I just grow depressed and overly dramatic with every note.  However, when I turn on a Katy Perry song, no matter how horrible the quality may be on a musical level, I'm ready to groove and move and I'm probably grinning.  

Also, I've said before that I don't care about cultural standards of how my body should look.  In the words of Dwight Schrute: False.  I do care!  I've recently started changing my diet and will probably soon start exercising because I'm not happy with my body.  And it's not very popular to say this, but I'm glad I'm changing my body.  I feel more confident in myself after losing the weight I have lost, and I feel like I have more self control now.  I don't think it makes sense to stay chubby and call it a day because I'm "ok with myself however I look."  I want to be happy, and I think I'd be happier if I were healthier.  That may not apply to everyone, but for me, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the case.

Things like those are not things I should try to change.  If I'm not content with my body?  It's ok to not be content with it!  I'll do better.  If I have a more upbeat mood when I listen to certain music over how I feel when I listen to mellow, indie music, then I'll keep listening.  These things work for me.  There are many things about me that I wish were different and more exciting.  However, changing acceptable things about myself in order to put a cultural label on my forehead takes away from my energy to change the bad things about me.  The fight against real demons I struggle with should not be overwhelmed by a desire to please man and man alone.

I'm not a hipster.  I'm not an artist.  I'm not a musician.  I'm not an athlete.  I'm not any one thing in particular on any given day.

I'm a medley of a bunch of different things, and I have to focus on changing only what God would have me change.  He made me, he loves me, and I am the way that I am for his purpose.  And the beauty of this is that once we define ourselves in the name of Jesus Christ, that's the only title we need.  A Child of God.  With all of my quirks, he loves me and he accepted me into his kingdom.

Who are you? 


~Isaiah 43: 1-4~  "But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you...'"

Sunday, January 1, 2012


New Year's Resolution:  to blog.

I stopped blogging for a lot of reasons, but my mom thinks I should keep it up.  Always listen to your mama, kids.

So here I am.  I'm a little bit unsure of what to say, so let me just give you a quick rundown on my life as a start.  Alright?  Alright.

First big news item is that I've been accepted into my college of choice!  Lord willing, I'll be heading over to Covenant College in the fall.  That's a pretty big bit of news for me, and I could not be more excited about it.

Second, I've got a serious case of senior-itis.  Doing school is harder and harder by the day because I'm so itchy to go out and make something of myself.  Therefore, this school year has been a lesson in patience, to be sure.

Other than that, I'm not that exciting.  :)  I'm going to try and get involved in things because I'm home too much, so I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes.  I'd love to take a ballroom dancing class, or maybe martial arts?  Who knows!  We'll see.

2011 was a rough year for me, but I'm starting off now, January 1st, with a fresher, more open mind and a desire to move forward.  I know that it may sound cheesy, but I feel like some good things will happen in 2012.

I hope y'all will stick around to watch it happen.


(Oh, and I went to Paris! Just sort of had to share because it's basically the city of my dreams.)