Name Game

There's something about your name.

It's something that's definitely yours.  Even if 400,000 people in the world have the exact same name, it's still, somehow, a mark of your individuality.  In your circle of people, you are the {insert beginning, middle, and last name here} of their world.  And if there are two people in their world with the exact same name, one of you has a nickname and people somehow manage to verbally distinguish you from the other {insert beginning, middle, and last name here}.

When you spend a lot of time with a child, there's a thrill when they first manage to say your name.  Even if they mangle it horribly, they're proclaiming that you're a person to them.  You're special enough to them to be distinguished from others they know.  And then you buy them a cookie and zerbertz their belly until they laugh and you're further burned into their memory.

When you grow attached to a person, they say your name a certain way that's recognizable.  Or maybe they give you a cute nickname that is only theirs to use.  But every time they say your name, there's a sort of endorphin rush that occurs.  I'm no scientist but I just know that it does something to you.

But sometimes you get tired of hearing it.  Some days you don't want to hear anyone call you or scream at you or tell you they love you, or to hear them tack your name on the end of their sentences.  Maybe you want to be nameless, just for a day, and wander through a town where no one knows you or your story.

I used to have a game every time I went into Jamba Juice when I lived in Hawaii.  The baristas always ask what your name is, to write on the smoothie cup, and I would never use my own.  But I would never plan it, either!  I would just say whatever came to mind at that moment.  I've been Cabriolet, I've been Jane, I've been Brita, and I'm fairly certain I've been Richard.  It's a fun game.

Someday I want to play that game again.  I want to tell someone I'm Amelia and put on accent. A brand-new persona.  Spend more money than I should because Amelia is rich.  Talk or laugh more than I normally would because Amelia is gregarious.

There's something in a name, and sometimes you just don't want to hear yours anymore.