Thursday, December 9, 2010

Never Alone

Elizabeth sits in the middle of the carpet in the living room.  "Mom?  Can I watch some TV while you make dinner?"

"Sure, honey.  Thirty minutes only."

Elizabeth grips the remote in her fingers and out of habit turns to channel 33: Disney channel.  She puts the remote down again after adjusting the volume, and picks up her stuffed animal and begins to play, only half-heartedly watching the show.  Background noise is always nice when taking Mr.CuddleWuddles to the "vet."  As she wraps a Hello Kitty band-aid around his paw, she looks up at the TV.  There she sees Zack, from the famous Suite Life of Zack and Cody, talking to a girl his age.  Suddenly, he kisses her!

Elizabeth wrinkles her eyebrows, thinking with all her might.  She whispers to herself, "He's two years older than me..."  Suddenly her mom calls her for supper and she hops up, pretty much forgetting whatever she just saw.

Flash forward two years.  She's sitting in class, gazing longingly at Jonah Croft.  He's such a dreamboat....

The bell rings for recess and the class runs outside.  She's been planning this for at least three days.  She watches Jonah separate from his friends momentarily to pick up a dodgeball that went bouncing off the black-top.  She shyly walks up to him, pushes her hair behind one ear, and smiles nervously as she holds out a flower.

"I picked this for you."

Jonah lifts one eyebrow and steps back. "What the heck?"

"I picked a flower for you, Jonah!  I kind of... kind of like you."

"Gross!!" Jonah promptly runs to the other side of the playground.  Elizabeth stands still for a moment, reeling.  She had seen this played out the other day on Nickelodeon!  Why didn't it work out that way?  She slowly walks into the empty classroom, and sits at her desk.  Then, the tears come.


Why did I tell this story?  Because Elizabeth and I are two very similar people.  The facts of her story are fiction, but the essence is very, very true.  This story is simple and short, but it is simply to set up my post.  I am writing this because I know I'm not the only one who suffers from this affliction.  I am not the only one.

I am not the only one who has felt that they need a boy in their life.

This is not something that I am ashamed of, and that's why I'm posting about it today.  Ever since I was little, that's been one of my crosses to bear.  The only reason I'm posting about this now is because slowly, very slowly, I'm overcoming it.

I know there are several young ladies who read this blog, and this is for you.  The chances are pretty high that you've felt this way before, because a lot of girls do.  This is a departure from my usual posting style, but I felt strongly pulled to write about this today.

From the beginning, we girls are constantly inundated with these messages.  Shows intended for children show eleven-year-olds dating.  Ads show women wrapped up in the arms of some hunk just because they wore a certain perfume or pair of jeans.  Teens on the street are open with their affection, almost to the point of rudeness.  Romantic comedies are popped out of the Hollywood oven faster than any other kind.  Songs spout that love and romance is the "teenage dream."

So who's surprised?  Is it any wonder that many teenage girls struggle with feeling as if they need a boy in their life, without really knowing why?  It's not just boys that are adversely affected by the media drenched in seduction and provocativeness.  It hurts girls too.  Not in the same way, but it gives girls a false idea of what they need.  It not only causes body image issues, which is a whole different post altogether, but it causes girls to feel as if they need someone, and they do everything they can to make sure it happens.

I am sixteen years old.  I have made a choice to wait until I'm in college to start the whole "courting" process, but it's not that simple.  You can't simply lift your hands in the air and yell, "I QUIT!" and expect to be left alone.  No, boys won't stop asking just because you don't accept, and the desire for having someone to cherish you is not just a switch you can flip.

So what do you do?  You sheathe your heart in God's word, and trust his will for you.  You have to know that he is the one who will love you for eternity, and remind yourself that there is no better lot than that one.  We girls are tempted to sit and listen to sad songs and cry our confusion and sorrow away, but try to sit down  for a while, read your Bible, and wrap yourself with the promises that God has made for us.  Instead of drowning in what you do not have, steep yourself in thanksgiving for the wonderful life you've been given and the glorious time you have as a young woman to build your relationship with God.

Do not despair.  God knows you, he knows what you can handle, and he has planned your life in order to fulfill his perfect, beautiful purpose.  If he has a husband intended for you, than this husband is exactly what you need.  If you act through the lens of the relationship you've built in your youth, when you finally meet the man for you, you will know.  Why would you choose a shabby, contrived fling in your youth, when you can wait for the Lord to carry a man to you who is just what you need?

Also, I find that it helps me to pray for my future husband, whoever he may be.  I pray that he grows closer to the Lord every day, and that he becomes a strong, wise man so that he will love me like Christ loves the Church. I pray every night for him, whether I've met him already or will meet him in years to come.  And I just talk to God about my struggles and my praises, and the closer I draw to him, the farther away my loneliness goes.

It is not a quick fix, and I still have problems with questioning and feeling alone.  But, through it all, I can trust that God is truly all I need.

If you like, you can leave me an anonymous message on my question box in the sidebar, and I would be so happy to pray for you.

Never Alone- Barlow Girl  (This song exactly expresses what I mean.)

"He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds."

--Psalms 147:3

"The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms; and He drove out the enemy from before you, and said, 'Destroy!'"

--Deuteronomy 33:27

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 
--1 John 4:16



  1. This is such a great post, Carolina!

    I have had the same problem, but lately I've just had so much peace! I will admit that it's hard sometimes, when my friends have boyfriends and boys ask you out. At the same time, though, I feel like there is a respect that my friends have for me, because I don't do those things. :)

    And I love that you pray for your future husband every night. :) That is so great! lol, I get so excited when I think that I'm going to meet someone who's perfect for me-I almost don't mind waiting!

  2. Thank you so much for your encouragement, ladies! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :D

  3. Oh! This was SO helpful...Lately, I haven't had a desire to go out with boys or anything...but I still feel alone sometimes. (Probably because of the world-view out there about this) Thanks so much though, this was amazingly helpful :)


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