An interview with my brother, WMP

My brother and I hopped on the video chat and I gave an impromptu interview.

Hi! What’s your name and what is your profession?

Will Malone Photography.

Are you sure your name is Will Malone Photography? I can't believe you got your first question wrong.

No, don’t type that! That's not what I meant.

*Hums innocently*

STOP TYPING THAT

How old are you?

45

Oh really?

No, 18. hey wait, am I on the record here?

Yes. Did you know that Brazil was named after the nut, and not the other way around?

Yes!

I need more than one word answers.

Ok.

No seriously. 

(At this point our conversation is interrupted by an internet connection problem)

What do you do?

(All I can hear is fuzz)

What??

(FUZZZ)

WHAT DO YOU DO??

I TAKE PICTURES!

Oh.  How do you take pictures?

With my camera. What a silly question.

Use your words, Willie.  How much do you make a year?

0 dollars.  Actually, I’m not at liberty to say

Why?

I’m not at liberty to say.

What is your favorite camera brand?

Nikon. Period.

Why do you use so many punctuations in your everyday speech?

I like perfect grammar. I talk like I’m one of my essays, everyday. Period.

Are you saying that most ofyour language consists of run-on sentences?

Because of my poor ability to write you may notice many run on sentences that is because I am a bad writer and I don’t write deep blogs like yours but I take pictures and I actually don’t write too good.

Oh hush.  Self-respect, brother. What kind of gear do you use out in the field?

Let me run through my supplies. Nikon D3000 camera body, an 18-55 mm. wide angle lense, switch it up to a 55-200 mm. zoom lense.  I have a Vivitar series one auto focus flash, oh and also, Bill goes with me on the field.  And my iphone. And my macbook. I love apple.

What does all that mean?  But I love apples too! What’s your favorite kind!

The corporation kind!

Oh, you mean non-organic ones!

Let’s get on with the interview please. Time is money.

But I thought you said you make 0 dollars a year!

Nevermind.

Would you rather take pictures of food for the rest of your life or take pictures of Bill for the rest of your life?

Um, I would have to say Bill the duck. I could put him any location, any scene.  Bill the duck is my mascot. Food is… Food, you know?

Yes, I know.  Speaking of food, what’s your favorite type of photography?

Don’t have a favorite. I like to be artistic.

Where are you going to school?

School of hard rock, baby.

No way? me too!

I am actually attending Covenant College for my freshman year in college and I hope to go for the next four years.

You hope??

Yeah, I hope it works out.

You better not let mom see this interview.

Don’t post this.

Ok, I promise.  Who’s your favorite photographer?

It's a match up between Peter Lik or Scott Kelby.

How do you spell that?

K-E-L-B-Y.

Thanks.

And Lik has no c.

Yeah, I know, I’ve been in his store too!

It’s a gallery!

Yeah, I know, I’ve been in his gallery too!

You should interview more people. You need practice.

Ok.  Like who?

Editor-in-chief of palmtreepundit. Or Ree Drummond, editor-in-chief of The Pioneer Woman.com.

OHMYGOSH REE DRUMMOND!! I’M GONNA EMAIL HER!!! I LOVE HER HAIR!!!

Um ok.  Ask what my favorite blogs are.

HEY. Who’s the interviewer here.  What are your favorite blogs?

Pastawaffles is pretty good--

Hold up! It’s pasta AND waffles.

Scott kelby is pretty good, Pioneer Woman photo, palmtreepundit, yaknow.

K, this interview’s over.

What? Why?

I know you love me to PIECES, but it’s just gonna be too long. 

Ok, fine.  Love you bye.